How I Learned to Stop Worrying..​.& Love the Bipolar Disorder!

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

-Confucius

Most of the time having Bipolar sucks! The medication, the talk-therapy, the occasional psych ward visit and best of all the unrelenting self-inflicted mind f*ckery of being emotionally/mentally unhinged. Controlling your disorder (and not having it control you) takes a combination of Dalia Lama restraint and Pope-like discipline.  

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to punch someone in the face or stab myself in the chest with a knife I could afford to buy Facebook, Google and still have a few bill left over to buy the “er” in Twitter. Being diagnosed with a mood or thought disorder is probably similar to being told you have diabetes or cancer (yes it’s that serious). The only difference is that it’s hard to ignore diabetes or cancer because it’ll eventually wreck your body and put you in the hospital.

bridges are perfect for visual metaphors

Mental illness is a much more subtle. You may feel “off” but you don’t know why. The warning signs aren’t articulated until after you end up the hospital or psychiatric ward. And because there isn’t a universal test for diagnosis the mental health community requires clients and patients to self-report their own symptoms. Which of course they do poorly due to a combination of ignorance and pride. How many people confide in their spouses or best friends? How many men talk about their feelings? It wasn’t until January 2011 that I realized I had to embrace my disorder and become an active participant in my own treatment and well-being.

Yes I always took my meds and went to my therapy appointments but that was all surface shit. I was being mindful of my mind and thoughts. I’ve recommitted myself to coping mechanisms that work for me and if a situation or person stresses me out I remove myself. Negativity can trigger an episode (a manic or depressive period) which literally could lead to my death via suicide.
So I don’t love my Bipolar like Donald Trump loves his hairpiece or how hipsters love irony or how mothers love babies but I do accept it as apart of who I am and that is a tremendous advantage in dealing with the ups and downs of living with it.

Please share this with friends, enemies and temporary allies alike.

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Thank you so much for reading, sharing and commenting. It means so much.

R.I.P. SKH

About Shawn Maxam

I am a writer living with Bipolar Disorder. I discuss modern masculinity, muscular empathy, practical self-reflection, agency and empowerment. I am also a graduate social work student, Brooklyn native, a lover of bananas and a huge fan of my wife - Kijan. Read me: http://forshawnel.com/ Follow me: @shawnmaxam -R.I.P. SKH

5 Responses to “How I Learned to Stop Worrying..​.& Love the Bipolar Disorder!”

  1. Hey Ondine, how you doing girl? Thanks for checking out the site. Don’t forget to subscribe and also leave those awesome opinions of yours.

  2. LOL Andy I wanted to ask what your photographer name is? Thanks for checking out the site. Don’t forget to subscribe. Consider it a birthday early present. Love your bro.

  3. You’re an inspiration Maxam! Where’s my photo credit huh? But in all seriousness, I’m glad you’re sharing your story with everyone now.

  4. This is very helpful and useful information. This will definitly help anyone who is struggling with this disorder.

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  1. How I Learned to Stop Worrying …. And Love the Bipolar Disorder — The Good Men Project - May 12, 2012

    [...] Originally posted on For Shawnel. Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.—Confucius [...]

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